We all have it: be it mom guilt, wife guilt and even friend guilt. It is a part of us. Every. Single. Day. The other point that should be noted is that beyond having guilt in every conceivable fashion, it is most likely here to stay. Remember how you want felt guilty for overcommitting in that school event for your child and then that other time that you were then eaten up by guilt because you had no desire to participate in the block party? We have taken on too much and felt guilty. We have let down our friends and felt guilty. We have desired to be a super mom and wife every day and failed flat on our faces and this too, has eaten us up. Do you now see where I am coming from with this wife and mom guilt? Here are some practical ways of how to conquer it.
The KEY to conquering wife and mom guilt lies in COMMUNICATING
You will realize that in most cases, we are the ones that have set these at times seemingly unrealistic goals. We want to be the ones to prepare the kids for school, be there to help with their homework, drop them off to school, prepare dinner, clean the home and the whole shabang. Then we are unable to be at the top of things and then we are overwhelmed by mom and wife guilt. So make an effort to communicate.
Designate one or two nights per week where you sit down as a family and have a chat. Do not make the environment tense. Let it be a relaxed dinner setting where you just catch up. You will be shocked that what you saw as a failure in your eyes was no big deal. Your husband and kids would still be proud of you regardless of how much of a failure you are feeling. Also, these teeny weeny details that are eating up your brain may not even matter in a few days, weeks months and especially years.
Your husband and children will be eternally grateful for what you did for them so no pressure.
During the family meetings, be sure to delegate duties so that it does not feel like you are carrying the whole world on your back. Make sure your husband and kids each have something to do. This will also boost accountability.
Organize your work and especially your thoughts. Clear your mind of everything that is causing you to guilt.
Honesty is the best principle
Be truthful about what you might be going through. Do not lie that you have it together while your are falling apart on the inside. Remember that nothing good ever came from beating about the bush.
Despite the crazy days, do not give your family crazy rides. No want wants a shouting match or a woman stomping through the house murmuring and cussing under their breath.
All in all, wife and mom guilt can be conquered by simply asking for help. Trust me, they do not mind – even the kids. Always remind yourself that you are doing the best that you can and that your are taking care of your family in the best possible way. You got this Mama.