Before you start rolling your eyes internally at me, hear me out. You are there, chilling in your house swiping through your favorite dating app and now you have matched with Johnie. You go grab coffee and it turns out to be an amazing evening and you plan to hang out again the next weekend. You had also matched with three other guys from the site. They want you to meet you. Do you go ahead and meet them or do you pursue things with Johnie and see where everything goes? I know our answer is probably the same – go on the dates. You now see where I am coming from? It is just a date and I know that people have translated dating to mean courting. It is not. I would say go on the other dates. If any of the other three guys turns out to be a better fit than Johnie, then you will be glad you kept your options. If Johnie is better than all of them, you will be glad you now know. Let’s take a deep dive on why you should date more than one person.
Reseach has shown that more than 40% of single people have dated more than 1 person at a go. To add on, more women have dated more than one man at the same time. Their percentage stands at 69% while that of men is at 51%. So, is dating more than one person actually a good idea or will it lead to confusion, hurt feelings and heartache?
Benefits of dating multiple people
If you have been a serial monogamist all your life or do not have as much experience on the dating scene, you should try your luck in dating multiple guys at the same time. With the different people you are going on dates, you get clarity on what exactly you want as well as what you do not want. All of these is for the sake of clarity. You want to be sure that whoever you will choose to move to the courting stage with, is the best man for you.
Drawbacks of this dating type
Going on all these awesome dates and sampling one restaurant to the next can be great. It helps you get to know many people and form amazing connections. You also try out new things which is the best way to live life. However, if you have a history of not being able to commit or are just using dating to distract you from some real issues in your life, then you need to take a step back and re-evaluate your life.
If you have a toxic work environment, for instance, and you are using dating to get away from that, you will end up hurting all the people that have invested in you emotionally. If this is the case, take time off dating, find a better workplace and hopefully find someone to date. Do not use people to escape your miserable reality.
Should you tell the people you are dating that you are seeing other people too?
I know this will not sit well with most people but I believe in honesty and transparency. Let them know that last Friday when you did not see them, you were having lunch with someone else. You should also ask your date, who you have come to really like, if they are dating someone else.
For some people, they use the “Don’t ask. Don’t tell” rule. If they do not ask them, then they will not disclose that they are dating someone else. Unless it is the “What are we?” question, then I think it is fair enough.
People are different and their approaches to dating will definitely vary. Go with that which rocks your boat but always keep in mind that sometimes, multiple dating can go from being fun to flat out bad. Be careful. stay careful.