So, you’ve been seeing this guy for a while now. Everything is perfect and you’ve haven’t been this happy in a while. Then out of nowhere, he drops the bomb that he has a kid or kids.
How do you deal with that situation? Do you run or stay and deal with all the “baggage” that comes with dating a single dad?
It is not uncommon for most women to run for the hills in such a situation.
In fact, it happens both ways. When some men find out that the lady they have been dating has kids, they run.
But, would you rather miss out on an opportunity to be with a great guy just because he has kid(s)? I think not.
With that, I’m going to share some essential tips every woman who’s dating a single dad needs.
His kids are a huge part of his life
For single dads who aren’t deadbeat fathers, his kids probably take up a lot of his time and attention.
Between his work, his kids and the new relationship he is trying to build with you, don’t be surprised when you don’t get as much attention as you’d expect. Also, don’t get jealous when he prioritizes his kids over you.
Dating a single dad means you have to be completely understanding about plans changing or him not being available certain nights.
His ex might still be in the equation
Not unless he is a widower, a single dad might come with the baggage of an ex wife or girlfriend.
In the case that the guy you are dating is co-parenting, you have to get used to seeing or hearing about the ex now and then, no matter how awkward it might be.
You should be completely supportive of the situation and not feel jealous if your man is in a considerable amount of communication with his ex about the kids.
The kids might not like you
When your boyfriend finally decides to introduce you to his kid(s), be ready for any kind of reception and reaction.
Most of the times, if their mother is still in the picture, they might not like you. And that’s fine.
If the man you are dating just went through a divorce, the kids might still be hurting over the fact that their family is broken up. They could very well transfer the frustrations and anger on you. Therefore, try to understand things from their perspective and cut them some slack.
Don’t try to replace the mother of his kids
If the kids of the single dad you are dating accept and like you, that’s a huge bonus because it will make your relationship so much easier.
However, this doesn’t mean that you should now try to be their mom. Remember that they still have their bio mom in their lives.
To be safe and not seem as if you are trying to impose yourself on them, allow them to guide you in terms of the level of intimacy that they want to share.
Let him discipline his kids
If your relationship is serious to the point where you sometimes stay with the kids, leave the disciplining to him.
Truth is, in a situation like this, you are walking on thin ice with the kids.
Therefore, it’s best not to put yourself in a situation where the kids resent you just because you decided to take up the role of disciplining them.
Remember they are his kids and therefore, he knows how best to discipline them.
Don’t give your heart to a single dad too soon
In as much as the single dad you are dating may claim to be over the hurt and anger of ending a relationship with his ex, take it slow, as far as your relationship is concerned.
He could be having trust issues and not be ready to commit any time soon.
This is why before going too deep into the relationship, communicate openly about how you’re both feeling, but be aware that he may be in a different place than you.