Romantic relationships and money don’t mix well. Don’t believe me? Well, 30 per cent of all relationships and marriages that end are usually as a result of money arguments. In fact, relationship experts agree that lending money, especially to a boyfriend or any romantic partner, can jeopardize your relationship. It normally starts out by him borrowing a few hundreds here and there but what happens when you want your money back? We are all in agreement that relationships are meant to be a give and take kind of situation but where do you draw the line and decide that your boyfriend needs to be more financially responsible? Here are 5 reasons why you shouldn’t lend money to your boyfriend:
It will put a strain on your relationship
If you have ever lent someone some money, I’m sure you know how hard and uncomfortable it is to ask for the money back. Now, when the person you loaned money is someone you’re involved with romantically, it can be even harder to ask for the money back.
Sometimes, when you lend your boyfriend money, he might assume that because you are in a relationship, he can take his time in repaying it. Sometimes, they might even not pay you back the money by using the phrase, it’s our money. This can really put a strain on the relationship.
It may cause feelings of resentment
You know how you feel agitated when someone owes you money? Now imagine constantly having that feeling especially when you’re around your boyfriend. This might end up causing you having feelings of resentment towards your partner especially if they take their sweet time paying back the loan. These feelings might even grow stronger if your partner takes the liberty and refuses to pay you back.
It can enable bad spending habits
If you lend your boyfriend money once and he keeps coming back for more, you might be enabling his bad spending habits without even realizing it. He might spend his own money carelessly because he will assume that you will be there for him financially whenever he needs help. To him, you’re like a second plan in case things go south. And to be honest, nobody in this world wants to have that kind of responsibility.
It may prolong a relationship that’s already over
Let’s be honest, we have, at least once in our lives, stayed in a bad relationship or friendship because they owed us some money. That’s right. If you and your boyfriend may be on the verge of breaking up but he still owes you money, you may feel the need to wait it out until he pays you back the money he owes you for security purposes.
Moreover, an outstanding loan can keep you connected to an ex you would prefer to remove from your life. And nobody wants to stay in touch with an ex especially if it ended badly.
It can cause an imbalance in the relationship
Remember when I said relationships are a give and take kind of situation? Well, when you are the one who is constantly lending your boyfriend money, you might end up feeling like you are giving too much. This in turn, might cause you to feel drained and unappreciated in the relationship and soon lead to a breakup.
On the other hand, while you might not have these feelings, your boyfriend might feel ashamed of being the one who always asks for financial help and potentially jeopardizing the ability for you to feel like equals.