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Setting Relationship Boundaries

By October 14, 2020January 15th, 2021No Comments
Setting Relationship Boundaries
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Even though you and your partner may be two peas in a pod, it’s important to set relationship boundaries. Relationship boundaries are some sort of basic guidelines that determine what behaviour you will accept from the other person and what you will not. While these may not sound as if they are not important especially at the beginning of a relationship, relationship boundaries are critical to creating healthy relationships, increasing self- esteem and reducing stress, anxiety and depression. These boundaries may include physical ones which revolve around your body, personal space and privacy, as well as, emotional boundaries. Here are 5 boundaries you need to set in your relationship for it to be healthy and successful:

Expectations

The number one reason why most relationships have problems is because of unspoken expectations for each other. For example, some people may expect their romantic partner to go over and beyond for them in case they need something. However, the other person might not be comfortable doing some things for their partners such as lending them money, paying their rent etc. You are allowed to set boundaries on just how much your partner might expect from you in a relationship to avoid future problems.

Finances

Money is such a tricky topic when it comes to romantic relationships. That’s why it’s important to set boundaries when it comes to finances in a relationship. Some people might think that just because they have been together so long with their partner, they are entitled to their partner’s money. For example, when it comes to lending your partner money, they may feel that they don’t have to pay you back the money because you share a life together. In such a case, you should be clear that you expect your partner to pay you back and avoid unnecessary confrontations. The same case applies when say for example you two share a joint account. You should have a clear plan on how the finances will be spent.

Tolerances

From the get-go, you should set clear boundaries about what you can and can’t tolerate in a relationship from the other person. You should let a romantic partner know that there are certain things you will not tolerate. For example, you could be a person who can’t stand to be shouted at, lied to, silenced, or mistrusted – whatever it is, make it known that going past these boundaries is a journey they may not want to take.

Family and Friends

Family and friends always have a way of affecting romantic relationships, be it in a bad or good way. It is, therefore, crucial for you and your partner to sit down and set down boundaries on how much your friends and family have an effect on your relationship. Sometimes, the person you enter into a relationship with might expect you to cut out some friends just because they aren’t comfortable with you being friends. If this doesn’t sit well with you, you can talk to them and explain to them that in as much as you two are in a relationship, they do not have a say on who you are friends with.

Sex

Setting boundaries when it comes to sex is probably the least discussed thing even though it’s a huge part of many relationships. Expressing what feels comfortable and what doesn’t work, sexually, is the first step to developing a lasting connection. And, sex becomes a lot more fun and enjoyable when both partners feel safe enough to say what they like, what they are into, what turns them off, etc.

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