It’s August. Does that ring a bell? It does for me because this whole month will serve as a reminder to what happened to Will and Jada that prompted them to fist bump to “Bad Marriage For Life”. In all honesty, not many marriages would stand such accusations and more so the confirmation that it truly did happen. So how do you caution yourself and your marriage from a situation that might jeopardize your marriage? Also, can we talk about the fact that Will’s crying face was turned into a meme and how much men’s mental health is taken as a joke? Yeah. Story for another day. Today, we want to learn how to avoid getting into an entanglement.
Cheating is the epitome of hurt and disrespect in a relationship. Not to say that you wont be attracted to other people. Of course you will be and others will be attracted to you too. It is in how you choose to do in these moments that will determine whether or not you will end up in an entanglement. Know where the urge to cheat is coming from. Do you have commitment issues? Is your partner not fulfilling your different needs?
Think About The Future
After you go ahead and cheat, then what next? Think about the outcomes of your actions. If your partner finds out (which he/she most likely will), what will become of your relationship? Is the urge to cheat stronger than the pain that will come after the breakup? What if the person you cheat keeps coming for more even after you have asked them to stop? Then what next? Have you watched the movie Fatal Affair on Netflix? It will give you a better perspective.
Refocus Your Energy To Your Relationship
You might be thinking about cheating because your relationship feels dead and the idea of getting entangled with someone else sounds fun and exciting. Well, it is because both of you are entertaining it and feeding into those thoughts and urges. If you channeled the same energy to your relationship or marriage, then you won’t have the energy or even time for other shenanigans.
Invest your time to build a robust relationship with your partner.
Cut Down Time Spent With Crushes
When you are already involved with someone else, stop spending time, flirting with or even talking excessively with anyone that you know is attracted to you or you are attracted to. Incessant communication with this person is a recipe for an entanglement. If you find that you are always keeping tabs with them on social media, unfollow the. If they are insisting on meeting you, throw them curve balls and block them if need be.
Communicate that you are in a relationship with someone else and that you are not going to do anything that will jeopardize your relationship. There are always other options to help you avoid getting into an entanglement.
What Am I Gaining from This Illicit Affair?
Asking yourself this question will help give you a clear perspective of what is lacking from your relationship and if that is the reason you want to cheat. When you realize that there is absolutely nothing you are going to gain and that the desire to cheat is solely because of the thrill that comes with it, then you are able to step back and shut down any of those thoughts. It is not worth it.
Take Some Time To Yourself
Ask for some me-time from your partner and take some days off to re-evaluate everything – the relationship, the far you’ve come, the goals you had, what has been lacking and if even you want to continue being in that relationship. You will get a clearer picture and know exactly what you want without hurting the people that love you.
If you must, Tell Your Partner About Your Thoughts
This is definitely the last resort. You do not want to go blurting out to your partner that you have thought about cheating and that you might have a potential in sight. Do it in a civilized manner if it gets to that. A reasonable person you will be down to talking about the relationship, what has been lacking and you might even find out that he has been having the same thoughts. You can then decide on a way forward; whether you are going to work on saving the relationship or walk away from it.
Bottom line is, do not disrespect yourself and your partner by cheating. You can always find resources and talk to other people on how to avoid getting into an entanglement.