Hi guys. It’s been a while since I wrote an advice piece. Well am back and ready to share more about my journey as a step mum and the dynamics of our happy

blended family.

After I started this journey, it wasn’t long before it all started to get overwhelming and I remember how isolated and alone I felt, with no one to share the challenges I

was going through.

To make matters worse, I didn’t know of any other step mum with whom I could share some of the extreme difficulties I encountered. At times, I found myself on the verge of

giving up! There were nights I was filled with self-doubt and the task ahead seemed too daunting. My own mother as much as she loved me, couldn’t offer any advice as

she had never encountered the same challenges as mine. My family and friends similarly didn’t understand why the hell I put myself in this situation in the first place.

Naturally, I had to figure out a lot of things on my own, a scenario I strongly believe should never exist. Nobody should have to walk alone on such a tough, lonely and

challenging journey. This is why I make it my business to support all stepmothers out there; they must not reinvent the wheel. After all, sharing is caring.

Every new mum/ step mum needs a support system.  I am a strong advocate for other women who are walking the same journey to share the challenges, joys and to connect

with people who understand what it takes to be a great mom to children who didn’t necessarily come from your womb, but still learning to love them like your own.

For step mums , this can be hard because in the first place, you are afraid to come out and let the world know that no matter what,  you are ready to live with your choices .

It also means that you openly come out and embrace the title of the wicked step mum, which is not necessarily the case all the times.

From day one you really don’t stand a chance. You can feel the stares, the quiet judgments, and disapprovals and yet you have to deal with all that and still put up with

rejection from the children.

In the end, you must contend with the reality that this was always going to be a package deal !!

In the beginning, the concerned parties operate on different extremes, the kids are not receptive to you, your new partner is so excited about the new family, totally

blinded to the challenges ahead. You are left alone to deal with the new changes and dynamics that life suddenly throws at you.

Like everything else in life, there are no manuals for how to be the perfect step mum and those two words don’t necessarily go together.

As a step mum,  it is very healthy to network with other smart and experienced  step mums to connect with and share your experiences.

Who better to understand your challenges than someone who is in the same situation. Obviously everyone’s dynamics are different but it wouldn’t hurt to share tips to cope

and get the comfort and encouragement that it will be okay in the end.

Finding step mom groups that create a safe haven where you can go to rant, rave and exhale and get much needed connection, affirmation and advise on issues that you

are struggling with.

I have been a step mum for the last 10 years and am still trying to get my squad as it’s not easy for women to openly admit that they are step mums.  But I haven’t lost hope, am

still working on finding my step mum tribe to walk this journey with.

So for other step mums out there, feel free to start your own local step mum group or meet ups for that much needed support mad connection.

I will be coming up with some meet up dates for next year soon, where we can meet, share and encourage one another.  Kindly let me know if it’s something you are interested in attending.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

7 Comments

  • Virginia says:

    Really inspiring piece. Love the idea of meeting up to share and encourage each other. Count me in✋🏾✋🏾

    • Fashionable Stepmum says:

      Hello Virginia! Glad to hear that, I have an upcoming event in May, will be sharing more details soon. Thanks for the support!

  • Ruth says:

    This is a good piece. I got friends who at times I try to share with what you re going through but they just don’t get it. Nobody understands you more unless you are in the same situation. Go girl let the brunch come

  • lish says:

    send me an invite. i would be glad. Nobody gets this situation we are in .if anything they look at you at you make your bed your lie on it..

    share the dates soon ,looking forward

  • Meagan says:

    Nice piece send me an invite on the next meeting.am a young step mum,most people really don’t understand us.

  • Mercy Jerono says:

    Hi Lynne,
    Thank you. Will check it out.

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