I’m no relationship expert but I’ve seen countless relationships and even marriages end simply because of unmet expectations. There’s no denying that having certain expectations in a relationship maintains some form of respect between two people romantically involved. However, some expectations can be quite unhealthy especially if they are unspoken or go unmet time and time again. So, which unrealistic expectations are these that we need to live back in the year 2020? Here is a list of my top 5 that I think we all need to do away with:
Being the centre of their world
When we get into romantic relationships, we love the attention our new partners give us. However, we should not get so carried away by being given this much attention that we think everything should revolve around us. You should not expect your boyfriend or partner to drop everything for you in order to make you feel happy and cared for. There are still other things that are important to your partner such as his family, career and friends. There should be a healthy balance between your partner’s separate life and them being there for you.
Them being able to read your minds
Women are guilty of this. Even I have caught myself not being able to communicate with my partner but still expecting them to know what it is I’m thinking of. Well, newsflash: your partner cannot read your mind! We often don’t explicitly say exactly what we want or what we are thinking, hoping our partner will know what it is we want. This only leads to disappointment with the result.
If you are reading this, chances are you have definitely said “don’t come over, I’m fine” and expected them to come over. Only to be more upset when they didn’t come over!
Your partner agreeing with you all the time
It’s so unrealistic to expect that you and your partner will agree on everything. If you wait to find someone who shares each and every one of your opinions, you will probably die first. The truth is, no one will have the same exact views on big topics: politics, religion, child-rearing, financial investments, etc. Nobody will have the same views on the smaller topics either: what time to eat dinner or which way the toilet paper should go. Embracing this difference of opinion sooner rather than later will keep things interesting and alive in your relationship.
Your partner being perfect
Nobody is perfect. And you will never find the perfect partner who will sweep you off your feet. That, my dear reader, is a fairytale you’re living in! If you have been expecting your partner to say and do all the right things, you’re in for a rude shock. The beauty of relationships is realizing that we all make mistakes and will continue to make them.
Expecting your partner to spend all their free time with you
Remember when I mentioned expecting your partner to place you at the center of their lives? Well, this is a classic example of that. Expecting your partner to spend time with you any time they have free time is unrealistic and unfair. You should know that it’s 100% normal for your partner to want to take time apart from you. Not only is it healthy, but it also encourages additional trust and appreciation to be built within the relationship.
Having great sex all the time
It’s called a sex life for a reason. Life has ups and downs — so you should expect the same when it comes to your sex life. There are days you won’t be able to keep your hands off each other and there are days you won’t be in the mood to have sex. And that’s okay. There’s more to a relationship than just sex. Right?
Relationships take work – the least you can do for you and your partner is make the relationship as easy and less stressful as much as you can by leaving unrealistic expectations behind. Let me know in the comments section below if there are any that I didn’t mention.