It’s been the cause of great debate among young people who are dating and those already married. Should you go through your partner’s phone? Some say that if you are in a serious relationship, then there shouldn’t be boundaries when it comes to each other’s phone. Others are of the opinion that even though two people are committed to each other, they should respect each other’s privacy and that involves staying away from each other’s phones. However, most relationship experts agree that you shouldn’t check your partner’s phone for many reasons, even if you fear that they may be unfaithful to you. Here are five most major reasons why you need to curb this behaviour before it ruins your relationship:
You may interpret somethings the wrong way
Going through your partner’s phone may have you interpreting things you see on their phone the wrong way. There’s a thin line between flirting and having a platonic conversation. Sometimes your partner may be having a friendly conversation with a friend and because you might already be fearful that they are unfaithful, you might interpret this as flirting. This can cause serious issues in your relationship such as unnecessary arguments and drama.
It says more about your trust than their deeds
Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. If you have to go through your partner’s phone, then it means that you don’t trust your partner completely to not go snooping on their phone. You might have the feeling to snoop because of past experience but realizing that the past is just that will save you from a lot of trouble. If you find yourself in such a situation even though your partner has never given you a reason to doubt them, check yourself. You may not have healed from past trauma of being cheated on or lied to. Because of such an ordeal, you may have over time become hypersensitive and any innocent gesture or word said to you can raise an alarm in your mind.
You’ll eventually get caught
The fear of getting caught is never a good excuse for why you shouldn’t go through your partner’ phone but it should be a motive to NOT attempt it at all. It might not be as bad getting caught cheating but it’s definitely right after that. Imagine your partner rolls over and opens their eyes slowly, still rubbing their tired eyes, only to find you perusing through their Instagram messages? Yikes! I’m sure you would like to avoid that confrontation.
You’re breaking their trust
Many relationships never bounce back after one partner confesses to snooping on the other’s phone. Even if it turns out that your partner was in fact flirting with someone else, your sneaky behaviour often cancels out their flirtation and you lose the moral high ground in your argument. It is very hard for anyone to trust someone who they now realize was going through their private messages, looking for evidence of their misbehaviour. This lack of trust may be just as hard to forgive, in many ways, as an uncovered flirtation.
It turns you into someone you’re not
Nobody likes the person that they become when they are consumed with waiting for their partner to go to the bathroom or fall asleep so they can pounce on their phone and quickly scroll through texts. Most people want to feel like they are honest people with integrity and self-respect. Nothing is a bigger hit to your self-esteem than snooping around, feeling like you’re a criminal, trying to get information that you know isn’t rightfully yours. In some cases, this behaviour can get so bad that it becomes an outright obsession.