I think we have all been in a situation where we felt as if our boyfriends or husbands were too controlling. “Don’t wear that. That dress is too revealing or too tight. Don’t hang out with those guys.” The list is endless. But then, we brushed it off and excused their behaviour for them just being too caring and protective of us. But where exactly do we draw the line between a partner being caring and being obsessively controlling? In this article, we are going to discuss in depth so that you know the signs of when your partner is controlling you and when he’s just been caring and protective.
The rules he creates don’t apply to him
Are you in a relationship where you have rules but somehow, the rules only apply to you? For example, if you have a partner who hates it when you talk to your ex but unapologetically goes ahead to stay in touch with his ex, then that’s him being controlling. Think about it — your partner doesn’t like it when you do something but he will do the same thing and expect you to just take it. That’s a classic sign of a manipulative person!
He checks in on you excessively
He calls when you go out, texts nonstop and he wants to know what you are doing and who you are with. It might seem as if he’s really concerned about your well being but there is something called space. If you are out with your girlfriends, he should respect that and allow you to have your own time.
He watches your social media activity
Anything you post has to go through him. And if not, he keeps asking for explanations about what you post on your own social media account. It could be that the picture you have posted is too revealing or that you are entertaining men on social media. In short, it could be anything.
He hates when you have fun without him
If he’s a controlling partner, you will start to realize a pattern. Anytime you do something fun without him, you end up fighting. It’s either you didn’t call him enough times or that he felt ignored. He might even go to the extent of asking you to not go out with friends if he’s not there. Sound familiar?
He is never at fault
It’s always your fault and never his. If he reacts badly to something you did, you end up apologizing for making him react that way. This only means one thing — that you are dating a self righteous man. Two words — run sis!
You modify your behaviour to meet his needs
Do you find yourself changing tiny things about yourself just because he pointed it out? I mean, yes, it’s great to want to make your man happy but there’s a limit. Changing a few negative things about yourself is okay. However, if you slowly find yourself losing yourself in a relationship because he has asked you to change so much of yourself, then he’s controlling and manipulative.
These are just some classic signs that your partner is being obsessively controlling. If you feel like that is the case, you can always communicate this with him and find a resolution before it gets out of hand.