Have you ever heard people who have been in long term relationships talk about each other and say that their partners are their therapists? While you might think that these are relationship goals, you may be wrong! Sure, relationships are all about communication and being there for each other when things become hard. However, do you depend on your partner too excessively especially when you’re under stress? Where do you draw the line between counting on your partner for emotional support and turning the person you’re in a relationship with into a therapist? When you turn the person you’re in a relationship with into your therapist instead of actually getting the help you need, you’re destroying your relationship. Here are some signs that you may be treating your partner like your therapist:
You expect them to be there for you a lot
The person you’re in a relationship with is supposed to be there for you to support and encourage you. However, if you expect them to drop all their plans and come through for you and put their needs behind and prioritize yours, you may be tuning them into your therapist. When you lean on your partner for constant support and reassurance, you are placing a great deal of pressure on them. This will quickly destroy your relationship because they start to feel like your guardian instead of an equal partner.
You don’t confide in anyone else
If you only confide in the person you’re in a relationship with, you may have very well turned them into your therapist. In a healthy relationship, you should have other relationships with friends and family where you can talk freely about your feelings and struggles. But if you place all that burden on the person you’re in a relationship with, your partner may quickly get overwhelmed with the responsibility of being your therapist.
You’re always talking about negative things
Another sign that you are treating your partner as your therapist is if you recognize that you are primarily discussing negative things with them. A balanced relationship includes talk of victories, happiness, and events that you’re looking forward to, in addition to things that upset you. If your texts include a high ratio of complaints or negative statements as compared with positive ones, this is an indicator that you may be using your partner primarily as a sounding board for your grievances.