Leila: My Husband Turned Into a Bitter Man After an Accident Paralysed Him. Should I Stay or Leave Him?

Photo by Viajero from Pexels

Whenever I look at him, I know for a fact that Mark is not the same man I met 5 years ago. I remember it like it was happening at that very moment. He was tall, dark and handsome — sounds like a line straight out of a storybook. He had the smile of a god. His hair, short and well kept. He was soft-spoken and had the kindest eyes. It was on a KBS bus that we first met. I was fresh out of college and was heading for an interview around Community area and as fate would have it, we got off the same stop.

“Excuse me, do you know where Maji House is?” I asked.

“Oh, hello, Yes. It’s right behind you. I’m actually going in there,” Mark said with the cheekiest smile I had ever seen!

I was so embarrassed but I had at least accomplished what I wanted. See, when I boarded the KBS bus at the Kencom stage, I instantly noticed his good looking features. I had then made it a point to make him notice me and it had worked. And as they say, the rest is history…

***********************************************

I always wonder how I got to this point in my life. A point where I have almost become a slave. But then I remember, I made vows — for better or for worse. And this right here is the worst period after 5 years of blissful marriage.

We had just bought a car two years after we got married. We were so excited — we were finally living the dream. We both had good jobs and right before we bought the car, I found out I was pregnant! Everything seemed to be going well according to plan until it all went downhill.

Mark and I were driving home one night when a drunk driver knocked us off the road and our car went spinning down a valley. That day, my whole life took a 360 turn. I lost the baby I was carrying inside me and Mark was left paralysed. He became a bitter man. He was rude, rough and even more, he had lost all his self-esteem due to his condition. I excused his attitude thinking that it was his way of dealing with his situation but this went on for 3 years. He feared I would leave him for another man despite my constant reassurances. Because of this, our marriage had crumbled down to a horrible state.

And so here we are. I feel stuck in a loveless marriage. I constantly have thoughts of leaving him but wouldn’t that make me a horrible person? A person with no conscience?

5 Comments

  1. Annette
    November 19, 2020 / 2:26 pm

    People often forget how important and sacred vows are… Theyre not just words, they are promises before God… So when the marriage began, God was there with them, I think prayer goes a long way in the life of a human being… And she should instead resort to praying for the husband and the marriage in general… There’s a word in the Bible I can’t remember where, that says, nothing is new in the face of this earth, and for sure nothing lasts forever… She might even leave and go find a worse situation out there

  2. Sue
    November 23, 2020 / 2:10 pm

    Prayer cannot fix everything. She can pray but I think counselling is also necessary in this case for her husband and for herself. If she says she is stuck in a loveless marriage, that shows the level of unhappiness. It could also help her husband figure out how to regain his self esteem. Counselling might help deal with the issues in their marriage plus it will help her decide whether to stay in it or not. Supposing her husband continues to be rude and rough, is she obligated to stay in such a situation? And maybe he is rude and rough because he is frustrated or depressed. The answers here are not easy and it will take time for them to heal.

    • Mary
      November 23, 2020 / 6:59 pm

      So sorry for what you passing through,I’ll advice you both go for councilling and keep praying for him God will touch him.

  3. Nics
    November 24, 2020 / 6:21 am

    I think sometimes people in marriages make it their spouses obligation to fix problems they have. They feel entitled and that it’s their spouses job to fix issues they are facing. People should learn to take care of their own issues. In this case, its Mark’s job to learn how to live with the current situation and adapt and move on with life. Its not easy but the wife can do no more than encourage him, the rest is upto Mark to fix.

  4. Irenne Bii
    November 24, 2020 / 7:34 am

    This is the time to make true your vows to each other. Both of you need counselling. Please don’t quit. Written with love.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *