My Boyfriend of 7 Years Left Me Unexpectedly - Phoebe
Photo by RF._.studio from Pexels

Everything was fine. We were happy — well, I at least, thought that we were on the same page. That wasn’t what I was expecting. In the very least, I was expecting to get engaged by the end of the year. I was lost. How would I live in a world without Mark? Could I possibly get over so much hurt and sadness? Those were some of the things that were going on in my mind when my boyfriend of 7 years left me unexpectedly. I remember he broke up with me via text. The nerve! How do you break up with someone you have known for 7 years on a text? I was at work when I got the text. My stomach felt hot. I wanted to scream but I couldn’t. I tried calling him but my calls went unanswered. I was so uneasy that I asked my manager to let me leave an hour early that day from work. If I could only see him and convince him that’s he’s making a mistake! So I made the decision to go to his house and talk it out. Off I went to win back the love of my life!

I could see him through the blinds of the window on the couch watching a football match without a care in this world. I knocked. And through the glass on the door, he asked, “Why are you here?” “Open the door so we can talk, Mark,” I begged. He obliged. I got in, sat next to him and held his hands.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

Nothing… he said taking away his hands from mine.

Nothing? Breaking up with me is nothing?

This is why I didn’t want to do this in person! I was avoiding all this drama.

So you expect me not to have feelings over us breaking up?

He went quiet. I changed positions and knelt before him facing him. Looking back now, I see how desperate and stupid I must have looked. I told him I loved him and I was willing to work through whatever was going on. But as you might be already guessing, this didn’t work.

I just need some time alone. I want to be single. Please get out of my house.

I can’t Mark. It’s already dark outside.

I’ll call an Uber for you. Here take this money and get a cab. He said handing me a few hundreds that were on the living room table.

At this point, my self-respect was already out the window so I didn’t have much to lose.

I’m not leaving until you give me a proper explanation of why you’ve come to this decision!

Please don’t cause a scene. I hate this kind of drama. Please just get out! I want to be alone.

At this point, I saw another side of Mark I hadn’t seen. So to avoid any further altercation, I picked my bag and walked out. He banged the door closed behind me and dear reader that’s how a 7 year relationship ended!

How did I get over Mark?

Well if you are reading this and thinking — she must have tips of how she got over him — I’m sorry but I don’t have any good advice. Getting over a boyfriend that left me after 7 years wasn’t easy. It was a journey full of mistakes, learning to love myself and starting over again. On most days, I would drink myself to sleep. My performance at work went down. I went into depression and even contemplated suicide. It was that bad. My friends supported me, however way they could. They said that just because my boyfriend left me didn’t mean that I couldn’t find love again. But I didn’t want to find love again. I wanted to get back to Mark. I stalked him on social media, sent him hundreds of texts, all of which went unanswered.

A year flew by without getting any form of closure from Mark. I thought maybe giving him some time would make him miss me and realize the mistake he made. But one day as I was doing my usual rounds stalking him on social media, I saw a picture he had posted of him and a lady, younger than me. I later found out that they were dating and had been dating for 2 years. Turns out, dear reader, that my boyfriend had been dating someone new a year before he left me high and dry. I never saw the signs. I felt blindsided. But, I did get my closure. He left me for another woman!

This isn’t a story of how I got over a breakup. It isn’t a story of how I eventually fell in love with someone else. In fact, I’m very much single. Moreso, I have the worst trust issues. This is just a story of how I got blindsided! Whatever you take away from this experience is entirely up to you!

6 Comments

  • Chichi says:

    Okay this is actually funny because I was expecting a lesson out of it. But maybe the moral of the story is that these things happen, even to the best of us.

  • Lucille says:

    This Is so heart breaking having experienced something similar but after 10 years some days I’m really down others I’m strong but I believe that I’ll get there one day breakups can really mess one up

  • Abdia says:

    This is a great read,

  • Astha says:

    Kudos to you Phoebe for keeping on going in the high tides even. And I love that you shared and people can relate to it. Not all stories need morals right!

  • Ruth says:

    I left my boyfriend of 6 years as well. This life is unfair. He had left me at first though but we got together just to realize he wasn’t s**t.

  • Debbie says:

    We are in the same page sister. My boyfriend also left me through a text while at work, after dating for Five years. He just sent a text, something funny is that, previously we had not had any argument or quarrel. He just decided to send a text and that’s how it ended. The worst part of it is that he was very far, he is still far and so we have never met since he left me through a text, so I have never accepted or believed that he just broke up with me in that manner because we have never met with him. Have always wished that we meet so that he at least hear it from his mouth but in vain. Its like I still live in denial. But its life, and life must go on.

Leave a Reply