When you keep your relationship private, it doesn’t mean that you never talk about it or share what’s going on in your love life. It doesn’t mean that you have to bottle anything in either. Keeping your relationship private should never feel like you are depriving yourself of part of the joy of being in a relationship. You should, however, make sure that your definition of relational joy is more about your relationship and less about pleasing/triggering/wow-ing other people. If it’s even slightly more external, you will be robbing your relationship of the very intimacy that you complain about (and question your worth over) an absence of. Here are 5 reasons you should keep your relationship private:
You open yourself up to the opinions of others
How quickly we forget the lessons learned in childhood. Chances are if you grew up with African parents, you were told to keep family business out of the streets. Our parents and grandparents knew the consequences of speaking too loosely about family affairs. By discussing your issues with outsiders, you open yourself up to the opinions of others.
Everyone won’t be happy for you
Want to know who is truly happy for you? Fall in love. The unfortunate truth is that not everyone is going to rejoice at the sight of your union. While there should be minimal concern about other people’s opinions, it’s important to be mindful that miserable people don’t enjoy their own company. There are some people so distraught with their own lives they will go out of their way to ruin yours.
Your delight may breed haters who will drag confusion everywhere they go. Sometimes it’s best to be out of sight and out of mind. The less people know about your personal life, the less they have to speak on.
It opens up the chance for your ex to be in your business
The only thing worse than strangers being in your business is having your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend watching your every move on social media. Hell bent and determined to poke holes in your new love affair, disclosing too much about your new relationship can leave you vulnerable to the antics of a scorned ex.
You can filter pictures, not your relationship
The desire for attention is not a modern concept. Feeding off the validation and approval of others has long been a source of motivation for many. The evolution of social media has only increased our lust for recognition and makes it easier to get. However, becoming intoxicated by the attention of others is dangerous for your relationship.
The world is dehydrated, and being a spectator of your love affair temporarily quenches their thirst. The concern arises when a couple is more in love with the glamour of having a social media relationship than an actual bond.
Keeping your relationship private keeps your motivations pure. You want to make sure that every day you decide to move forward in your relationship you are doing so because you couldn’t imagine a life without your partner, not because you are addicted to the false approval of social media viewers. That’s #relationshipgoals.
Breaking up is easier
Your relationship was great. You and your partner shared some amazing times and the world felt like they were on the journey with you. You gave followers access to your relationship, forgetting that at the end of the day, it’s just you and your partner fighting to make your union work.
Relationships end; that’s the nature of love. But ending a relationship that was so heavily adored on social media makes it much more difficult to pick up the pieces and open a new chapter. Sharing your relationship with the world comes with consequence. You opened your union up for everyone to partake, so if you decide to part ways, be prepared for constant interrogation. Keeping your relationship private shelters you from the added drama. You can simply decide to be done with your relationship, with no questioning, no obligation, and no stress.
You put too much pressure on your relationship
You don’t give people permission to idolize your relationship, but they do. Sharing every moment of your private life can put you in a position to be the prototype of real love. Suddenly, people convince themselves that they want what you have based solely on what they see online. This can be a lot of pressure on both people in the relationship. Now living to exceed the expectations of spectators, it’s easy to lose sight of what is really important, building an unbreakable bond with your partner.
Relationships are already hard work without feeling the need to impress other people. Give your relationship and your partner a stress free environment to learn, make mistakes, and evolve without feeling weighed down by the need to uphold a false image created by social media.