Even though you may have boundaries that you may expect a partner you’re in a relationship to respect, communicating them is the most important thing. It may sound simple, but those who have tried to communicate their relationship boundaries with their partners will tell you just how hard it is. “Why do you need boundaries when we are literally sharing our lives?” This is just an example of a question that many partners tend to raise once you communicate your boundaries. This tends to happen more when for one, relationship boundaries aren’t communicated effectively. Relationship boundaries are actually supposed to be a good thing. Even though it might sound as if they are going to draw a rift between you and your partner, relationship boundaries are actually one way to make your relationship stronger and healthy. Here are some ways you can use to communicate your boundaries with your partner effectively and in a loving way:
Talk about the boundaries early in the relationship
It’s always a good idea to communicate with your partner about your boundaries early rather than years into the relationship. This is because when you withhold talking about your boundaries then introducing them later on, your partner may be confused and think that you may have changed up on them. This confusion can lead to a major rift between the two of you and may finally lead to the two of you breaking up. Additionally, communicating your boundaries early into the relationship can help to reduce how much you and your partner fight. This is because your partner knows and understands how to treat you and what you can’t tolerate.
Talk about the consequences of crossing the boundaries
Talking about your boundaries in a relationship is just the first step to effectively communicating with your partner. For crossing some boundaries, your partner needs to know the consequences. If, for example, you simply cannot accept any form of cheating whatsoever, you have to make it clear from the get-go that you will end the relationship should this occur.
Use respectful language
When communicating relationship boundaries, remember that it’s important to use the right language. While you may want to maintain a serious tone, it’s also important to remain respectful and loving. Using some words can come off as condescending and downright disrespectful and this can make your partner disregard anything you say and cause a rift between you two.
Rather than saying something like, ” You need to stop coming home late.” You can instead say, “I would prefer it if you came home a little bit earlier than today.”
Allow for some minor infractions
Nobody is perfect – people make mistakes. While there are some relationship deal-breakers that you simply will not accept, you have to give your partner some leeway if they cross over some of your boundaries, especially when you have first communicated them. One of two times of crossing some (keyword being SOME) boundaries is perfectly fine. However, if they make a habit of crossing these boundaries, you are allowed to act accordingly.