5 Signs You’ve Lost Yourself in a Relationship

5 Signs You've Lost Yourself in a Relationship

When you love someone and they love you back, it’s easy to lose yourself in the high of the relationship. You want to spend every waking moment with them and even make them the centre of your world. While finding and falling in love is something to be cherished, it’s important to find a balance between remaining true to yourself and committing yourself to the relationship. Here are some signs that show you may have completely lost yourself in the relationship that you currently are in.

You never see your friends

If the relationship you are in has taken over your life so much that you no longer see your friends, then you have probably lost yourself. It may be that your partner has forbidden you from seeing them or you and your partner are attached on the hip and can’t seem to get enough of each other. Either way, this is a tell-tale sign that the relationship isn’t healthy for you and that you need to check yourself.

You compromise your needs and wants for your partner’s

Do you find yourself saying yes to things to your partner regardless of what you may want just because you want them to be happy? If yes, this is another sign that you have lost yourself in the relationship. Saying yes to your partner once in a while even though it is not exactly what you want is okay. But feeling like you are obligated to say yes because you fear their reaction or want them to stay in your life is not healthy at all.

You’ve lost sight of your goals and passions

A relationship is not an end goal; instead, it’s a support system for achieving your dreams. Think back to before your relationship began. What were your goals and passions? Are you still pursuing those same things today?

If not, ask yourself why things changed. If you’ve put your life on the back burner for your relationship, it’s time to reconsider if your relationship is supporting you or hindering you.

You can’t decide on your own

Asking your partner’s opinion on a few things in your life is okay and actually healthy. It shows that you trust each other and that you value one another’s opinions. However, if you find yourself unable to decide on the smallest of things even on personal matters that your partner doesn’t have anything to do with without asking them, then that is a sign that you have lost yourself in the relationship. In some instances, this may be due to the fact that your partner reacted in a not so good manner to a decision you may have made without their input.

You pass up opportunities for your partner

Say you get an amazing opportunity career-wise out of he country or just in another town. Which means you and your partner will be in a long distance relationship if you decide to take it. But because you have lost yourself in the relationship you end up forfeiting it just so that you can stay close to your partner. Sound familiar? If yes, then you need to rethink your situation and do what’s best for yourself, not for your partner.

Losing yourself in a relationship can be detrimental to you and your partner. It might seem like the things you’re doing now are all for love but in the long term, your relationship might end up toxic and impossible. So if you realize that this is a reality right now in your relationship, it’s time to make a change and start focusing on yourself!

2 Comments

  1. Elias
    October 8, 2020 / 2:18 pm

    You’ve put it well. Especially not seeing friends due to attachment

    • Rahab Mbiriti
      Author
      October 9, 2020 / 7:01 am

      Yes, it’s the worst thing

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