If you’re reading this, it’s probably because time and time again you find yourself dating or drawn to men who treat you like crap. And so you often ask yourself, is it me or are all men just like that? But then again, why do other women find men who treat them like princesses while you have to take sh*t from men who are absolute jerks? Well, this situation where a woman always seems to pick a bad boy over a nice guy is so common in the dating world that there’s even a phrase that says, “Nice guys finish last”.
Well, according to psychology there’s a reason why women choose men who treat them like crap.
High-performance women are willing to put in the work
A lot of women might say they want nice characteristics in a partner, but in reality, what they want is the challenge that comes with dating a “bad boy”. Even worse, psychology says that successful women are more prone to end up with men who treat them like crap.
Why? Because these women know that commitment reaps rewards, and they apply that same attitude in their relationships. Putting in the effort in other parts of their lives has usually gotten them the results they’re after; why would love be any different? And so they end up putting up with bad behaviour time and time again thinking that it will get better in time because to them, nothing comes easy.
Toxic men tend to target powerful women
For the most part, it’s not your fault that you always end up dating men who treat you like crap. Sometimes, these men actually target strong and successful women who have a lot to give, be it financially or emotionally. Men who treat women poorly are narcissists. Narcs and self-sufficient women are like magnets. They can’t help but attract each other. Self-sufficient women don’t need taking care of and have lots to give. Narcissists, on the other hand, tend to want self-sufficient women so they don’t actually have to take care of them.
Your sex life is blinding
Inasmuch as we might not admit it, women are easily blinded by love and frankly, good sex. Men who treat women poorly don’t usually show off their true colours, right off the bat. Relationships with these men tend to start off as loving, mutually beneficial and growth-oriented. And when the relationship does turn sour it’s difficult fr women who tend to be fixers to walk away. Toss satisfying sex into the mix, which builds chemistry, and an unhealthy relationship can quickly become a toxic one.
You like to think that a bad boy will be good just for you
To be honest, we all love a rebel. Women who attracted to men who tend to treat them like crap like to think that even though these men are rebels, they can be good to just them. It’s more of fantasy if you ask me. Because deep down, these men are broken, insecure and have inner demons that you can never really tame.
In most instances, these bad boys tend to attract lots of women who just want them just as much as you. So you fully submerge yourself in chasing this bad boy because you want to get on top of his list. His grip on you becomes so strong and it slowly starts to break down your self-esteem. You convince yourself that he will eventually bring down his walls and reciprocate the affection. Just like every song that sounds the same, he will never change and you will be left broken and bruised.