Even though they might not say it, being a single mum is pretty hard. Not only do they have double the responsibilities of raising a child, but they also have to deal with society judging them. And truth be told, our society judges single mums too harshly. Half of the time, when we say certain things to single mums, we might mean well or are just clueless. On the other side of the spectrum, though, the things we might say to them can be really hurtful. That said, here are a few things you may want to consider never saying to a single mum:
Well, you decided to have the baby
Apparently, this phrase is thrown around quite often towards single mums. But what most people don’t realize is, just because a woman decided to keep the baby doesn’t mean they don’t struggle. They are human and are allowed to complain and vent about how hard it is.
If a single mum complains about how hard it is for her, never say this to her. Instead, be there for her, comfort her and if possible offer to help her with the kids once in a while.
My husband works/travels all the time, so I know what it’s like for you
Most times when you say this to a single mum, you might be wanting to make her feel less lonely. But truth is, you can never compare your husband travelling often to an absent father. In any case, your husband is usually a call away. He’s also going to come home at some point, converse with you, eat with you, get into bed with you, share problems together etc. But for a single mum, she only has herself to count on. So, no. You don’t know what it’s like.
The kids are better off without him
No child is better off without their father. Well, not unless he was an abusive father or a toxic partner. So don’t assume that the kids are better off without him and you should never say this to a single mum.
It must be nice making parenting decisions all on your own
Sure, making parenting decisions all by yourself sounds nice. But wait until you are indecisive about a big decision concerning your kids and have no one to bounce the decisions off of or to reason with you.
It can be very stressful to not have a partner to help with you with substantial decisions as well as not have this much-needed support in their lives when parenting gets hard.
Why don’t you fight for child support?
Believe it or not, not all single mums need child support. So don’t assume that they need it to survive financially. Plenty of single mums make stable and sufficient livings on their own, and their paychecks are more than enough to cover the costs of raising a child.
Do all of your kids have the same father?
This has to be the rudest of things to ask a single mum of multiple children. And quite frankly it’s really none of your business!