Ah, relationships. The one thing in life that we aren’t taught in school or by anyone at all. We always have to figure things out and learn as we go. But thankfully, there’s the internet and oh, yes, we have friends we can share relationship problems with. So, if you are someone who’s been in a couple of relationships, you probably have deal breakers that you possibly can’t tolerate.
Deal breakers are factors to consider when deciding whether to follow through with something or not. It’s that little something that makes you say “I’m done!” even when you really love someone or you’ve been together forever. Having deal breakers is a healthy part of setting our boundary lines. We all have to understand that there are some lines that can’t be crossed, even by those dearest to us.
There are some behaviours, attitudes, and beliefs you should just never tolerate. While every relationship has its own unique dynamics, these are some core deal breakers you should never tolerate in your romantic partnerships.
Abuse of any kind
Abuse in relationships comes in many forms. It can b emotional, verbal and physical. All these there shouldn’t be tolerated no matter how many times your partner apologizes or acts remorseful.
Many people and especially women stay and convince themselves that just because it happens once doesn’t mean it will happen again. Wrong. This should actually be the number one deal breaker in relationships because once it starts, it never stops.
Once a cheater, always a cheater! Remember that. When someone chooses to step out of your relationship or marriage, it means that they don’t respect you and your values. I don’t care how long you’ve been together. Put your foot down on this issue and make it clear from the get-go. And if or when it happens, don’t forgive and wait for the next round of heartbreak.
Even if you put breaking your trust and your heart aside, your partner’s cheating on you puts you at risk for depression, sexually transmitted infections, and major embarrassment.
Always cancelling plans
Is your partner always flaking out on you last minute even though you had planned something in advance? This is a huge red flag that shouldn’t ever be tolerated or excused. It shouldn’t matter how busy your partner is, if they really care about you, they should at least make an effort. You should feel prioritized in any romantic relationship you decide to get into.
Too much jealousy
A little jealousy is healthy in any relationship. It reminds you of how much you care about someone and how painful it would be if you lost them. But too much jealousy can end up being toxic. Controlling, hack-your-Facebook-and-demand-your-phone-password jealousy should be relationship deal breakers that shouldn’t be tolerated. This is a sign of insecurity and can quickly develop into dangerous or abusive behaviour. It’s better to get out before it reaches that point
One sided love
Are you always the one initiating plans? Calling and texting first? Do you feel as though you’re giving your relationship your all but getting nothing in return? This, in my opinion, should be a relationship deal breaker.
In a healthy relationship, both parties have to chip in some, if not equal effort. There should be a balance so that one person doesn’t feel burned out and frustrated.
You’re a secret
There’s a thin line between secrecy and privacy in a relationship. If you have been dating your partner for over a year and have never met any of his friends or family, then you’re probably a secret. It could also probably mean that you are the sidepiece in the relationship.