Millennial dating is as hard as hell. There I said. Dating is not as it was once back in the days. There are so many new things that are now in the picture when it comes to dating. Apparently, showing fewer emotions and acting aloof is considered much cooler than actually showing your real feelings. And that’s how the phrase being needy in a relationship came up. Nothing hurts as much as being told that you’re being needy when all you’ve been trying to do is show just how much you care for your partner.
So let’s talk about it, honestly and openly. Let’s get a handle on exactly what neediness is, why it’s so troublesome, and — most importantly — how to address it. Because fixing this one problem can have massive repercussions across your dating life and probably, life in general.
The Signs to look out for
Being told you’re needy
The easiest way to know that you are a needy person in relationships is if you’ve heard from different people you have dated. It stings, I know, but if more than one person has mentioned this to you and probably even ended a relationship because of it, then you need to check yourself, sis!
You don’t want to spend time apart
Are you the kind of person who never wants to spend time apart from your partner? This is not healthy behaviour. When you want to constantly hang out with your partner, he/she will start to feel suffocated. Needless to say, you both need your alone time.
Healthy relationships happen when two people are still able to maintain some level of independence. Having your own hobbies and friendships that bring you joy will help you from being overly needy in your romantic relationship.
You bargain for your partner’s time
Wanting to spend more time with your partner is fine. What’s not really healthy is trying to bargain, beg or emotionally blackmail them into giving it to you. Passive-aggressiveness in a relationship isn’t a good look on anyone and comes off as being too needy. If your partner needs some time alone or with friends, respect her needs or else risk boring them to death.
Social media stalking
Social media is a big part of our lives. That’s a fact that we have to live with. It’s such a huge thing that it has now become a major cause of conflict in relationships. When you’re a needy person, you constantly go through your partner’s social media, commenting and liking their posts. And if you’re really pushy, you might demand that they post you on their social media.
A desperate need for constant reassurance
“I’m so ugly,” you say. “Don’t say that,” your partner coos. “You’re beautiful!” Your partner is always quick to jump to your defence or give you genuine compliments. But no matter how many times your partner reassures you of their love for your, their attraction to your, or their loyalty to your relationship, you never believe them.
This need for constant reassurance is too needy can be draining and damaging in a relationship.