Why Dating A Millennial Is So Messed Up

By August 21, 2020January 2nd, 202111 Comments
Why dating a millennial is so messed up

Growing up and looking at how love and relationships were from the past, things were a lot simpler and easier. If a man liked you, he would make his intentions clear and pursue you in what was deemed the “right” way. You will agree with me that most millennials are yet to find the kind of love that the generation that came before them did. The reason is because in addition to time having changed a ton, dating a millennial is quite messed up. These days, relationships have become endlessly complicated and frustrating because of the reasons below.

  1. Ghosting as a way to end things

Who has not been ghosted yet? Who has ghosted someone? This this millennial way of ending things. One minute you are vibing so well and the next, well they are not picking up your call, you cannot see their WhatsApp profile photo any more and poof – they are a ghost.

When a millennial is no longer interested in you, they do not feel the need to communicate this. They simply vanish. In the past, one would leave a heartfelt letter telling you that things were not working out. Today, you would be lucky to get a text expressing the same.

Do you think people ghost because they are afraid of how their partner would take the rejection? We’ve heard scary stories of domestic violence and even homicide because someone wanted to break-up.

2. There is hyper-focus on sex

Sex has become scaringly available for the millennials. You can find it by swiping on a hook up site or hitting up an old flame for some no-strings-attached steamy session.

These days, no one wants to know the other person. Most of the interest is in getting under to get over. Some millennials have taken sex to mean love but most often, it only leads to heartache, confusion and another addition to the already long list of one night stands.

3. He who cares least wins

Millennials are always in competition to see who will show the least emotions. They have this don’t care attitude and showing emotion is seen as a weakness of some sort. If you show emotion, you are frowned upon and the other person goes fleeing in the other direction. There is very little to no appreciation for honest and happy emotions.

4. Responses are strategic

He took 12 hours and 52 minutes to reply? I’m going to reply in exactly 12 hours and 52 minutes. Sounds petty, right? But this is what millennials do. They believe that if I respond immediately after being left on read the whole day is a sign of desperation.

In as much as millennials have the luxury of instant messaging, they will still treat it as though it is the smoke signal era. I mean, they all want to look busy, important and unattached. Totally high on some backward sh*t.

5. Options left, right and center

Think that you are the only one trying to show some affection to this millennial and eventually be boo’d up? Sorry man – the list of men in her inbox waiting for you to mess up is insane. They’ve got a myriad of options.

A millennial believes there is no need to settle because there is always someone else with a better career, from a better family, with affluent hobbies and of course a fatter bank account so one asks, why should I settle?

A millennial is never quite willing to give up the search and the journey becomes more exhilarating than the destination.

6. Contentment with being alone

Self love is big with millennials. They are used to doing it all by themselves and it reaches a point where they do not feel the need to be in a relationship. They get in these comfort zones and dread inviting someone else will come and disrupt their peace and happiness. They are content with how things are and this makes it that much harder to date a millennial.

These are just some of the reasons why dating a millennial is so messed up. Other include always being stuck in the grey area because no one wants to define anything. They say that to define is to limit. Anther reason that dating a millennial is so messed up is because they do not feel accountable to the pain they inflict on others. It is your problem, deal with it. Lastly, social media has presented a form of perfection that does not exist and millennials are here trying to chase this perfection. Just hard to date them.


  • Katherine says:

    This was an amazing piece.

  • Ahalia says:

    It was interesting ☺️ and relatable,
    What’s your address or advice about dating in this millennial?

  • Chris says:

    Isn’t this so true? Am a 23year old and I like things in a kind of old fashioned way, where we define what is going on between us but it is really hard to find someone who has the same mind set. I was ghosted less than a month ago.. they stopped texting back, then stopped picking up calls, then boom “you cannot send a direct message to this person” on Twitter 🤭🤭.

    Thanks so much Fashionable step mum for sharing this.

  • Ahishakiye Nina says:

    All the truth said! I cannot understand how caring less has become the in-thing and no one is willing to be vulnerable to the other. Dating has become quite hectic and I have unfortunately become part of those who got comfortable being alone since it feels “safer”.
    Also, there is so much toxicity in these “relationships” without titles.
    What happened to the real LOVE as defined in the bible?

    Thanks @fashionablestepmum for sharing this. 💯🙏

  • Caesar says:

    Number 5 will cause irreparable damage to many. This habit of thinking that you can just squander chances because something better is yet to come will shock many. There shall come a time when nobody will be interested in you. Your inbox will be dry like the Sahara desert.

  • Okungu says:

    So much sense that we all relate to, especially ghosting someone go end things or unending options.. Well, how can we improve things by not copying directly from the old-fashion way?

  • Nkatha says:

    I couldn’t help but resonate with all this.Such a nice read. I definitely enjoyed it. I hope that we as millennials can be intentional about everything and not think that we’re “barbaric” for choosing to be nice.We often say we’re living in a toxic world but guess who makes up the toxic world?

Leave a Reply