Marriage, for me, is such a final thing that I always tell people to make sure that they are ready before rushing into it. In a previous article I once talked about how important it is to do some certain things before getting married and so many of you resonated with it. Now, in this article, I thought about sharing with you some things you should talk about with your partner before getting hitched. In fact, don’t get married before having these conversations with your significant other.
Some of the things that you should talk about with your partner will give you an idea of what to expect when you get into marriage and also the opportunity to know your partner better. Even if you have been dating someone for years, the chances could be that you will never get to know your partner 100% before tying the knot, and that’s ok! In fact, that’s one of the most beautiful things about being in a relationship – you explore something new about each other, every day.
But there are some important things you must know about each other before getting married:
Don’t get married before talking about money. Arguments about money hamper many marriages. It’s no wonder that financial problems are a leading cause of divorce.
You have to both talk about splitting the bills, how much money you will be saving and if any of you is in debt. You don’t want a situation where you marry someone and later on find out they are in so much debt. It’s also important to talk about how the money will be spent. Will it be individually or pooled together?
This is a major and one of the most important things you should discuss openly with your partner. If they want to have kids, when do they want and how many? And if not, then why? You must also discuss how you two plan to raise the kids. Are they open to adoption, surrogacy or fertility treatments if you are unable to conceive naturally?
Issues like these can become serious disputes later on, so it’s important to discuss them now.
Don’t rush into getting married before talking about this topic. How committed is each of you to your careers? Will it affect family life? Are you planning to change your job any time soon after the wedding? Is anyone of you planning on going back to school for say, a second degree, masters or PhD? Who is going to finance it?
Opposite gender boundaries
This might seem like a small issue but it’s actually a big cause for friction in the marriages these days. Before getting married, talk about the boundaries each of you has to put when dealing with the opposite gender. There are people who easily get offended when their spouses give simple hugs to their friends and colleagues.
Much as we hate to admit it, social media is now a big part of our lives. So, don’t get married before having the social media talk with your partner. Do you need each other’s social media passwords? What are the limits to what each of you can post about the other on social media? Remember that some people are very private with their lives, so posting them on social media can cause friction.
Family members from both sides can be a cause of friction for a couple. So it’s important to talk about how family members should be handled in case of a misunderstanding. Will we back each other up if a family member tries to interfere? Who’s side will you take? Should we allow family members into our home?
Are you a newlywed or have been married for some time? What are some things you talked about with your spouse before getting married? Any regrets? Let me know in the comments section.