Different people express love differently. What might mean immense love to one person may not necessarily be a gesture of love to the other. At times, you might be lucky and find that your partner’s love languages are the same as yours and this makes it a lot easier to express your love to one another. Other times, however, your love languages may be different and this means you have to learn your partner’s way of receiving and giving love for mutual understanding. There are five love languages and it is okay to have multiple of them. It is also human that all these are your love languages and that maybe one is predominant over the others.
- Words of Affirmation
If your spouse’s top love language is words of affirmation, be sure to communicate this often. Through your words, encourage them, affirm to them that they are great and are doing well, appreciate them and empathize with them when needed to. Also, be sure to listen carefully to what they have to say.
When executing this love language, send an unexpected note to them, stick a note on the fridge or write them something on their notebook/journal. Remember to encourage them genuinely and often.
Avoid criticism that is not constructive and the use of words that tear them down.
- Physical Touch
This love language is all about the non-verbals. It is the use of body language to express your love. It is the use of touch to emphasize love.
This love language can be expressed through hugging, kissing, showing physical affection regularly and making intimacy a thoughtful priority.
If this is your partner’s love language, avoid physical neglect, long periods of time without intimacy and receiving and giving affection coldly.
- Receiving Gifts
If this is yours or your partner’s language, be sure to put thoughtfulness in every gift. Think about what they would really want. Remember that small things matter in a big way. Always remember to express gratitude when receiving a gift.
Avoid forgetfulness on big occasions like anniversaries, birthdays and promotions. Do not be an unenthusiastic gift receiver.
- Quality Time
Have uninterrupted and focused communication and conversations. Spend one-on-one time doing something your partner loves. Go on a walk, fishing, a road trip etc.
Create special moments together and do small things with your partner. Weekend getaways and staycations are great.
Avoid distractions when spending quality time together. Switch off your phones and ensure you do not have work interrupting. Ensure the one-on-one time is often.
- Acts of Service
This love language is all about helping out when you realize your partner needs your help. Acts like taking the trash, dropping the kids off to school, carrying the groceries are a way of showing love.
Go out of your way and do chores together, make your partner breakfast in bed or help them in their morning routine.
Avoid making other people’s requests higher than your spouse’s or not following through with tasks; either big or small.
What are your top love languages? What are your partner’s love languages? Have you stricken a balance?