Break ups are tough. They are difficult. They are painful. They will make you go through all the sad emotions, you might lose appetite, not want to see people and your whole body might just ache. Many at times, we have invested resources like money, time and our lives entirely on a relationship so when it suddenly ends with no prior warnings, it could disorient you. Getting over a breakup might be hard but it is the ultimate goal of letting go and being back on your feet.
Here are tips you too can use for getting over a nasty breakup.
- Be human and let yourself to feel the pain
Let those raw emotions come out. Find a comfortable and safe space where you can cry if your heart is heavy. That’s your body’s way of getting rid of the pain and hurt.
Do not be fooled by Fergie’s song dubbed “Big Girls Don’t Cry” because they do and it is healthy. Do not let all that anger and hurt be pent up inside you. Release it the best you know how as long as you are not hurting yourself or others in the process.
Do not run away from your hurts when trying to heal and get over a heartbreak.
- Talk to God
If you believe in God’s power over our lives, tell him out the breakup and the hurt that it has put you through. Prayer, in most cases, calms me. Remember there is no conventional way of talking to God. You could be on your bathroom floor crying, or in your room, driving home from work or just taking a stroll. Let God in on your hurt and tell him to help you get over it.
You will fill an instant calm and peace. You can also write down the prayer in your personal journal. Write how you are feeling and how you would like for Him to help you heal and get over the breakup.
- Talk to someone you trust
You can meet or call your best friend, sister, mother or even a church counselor and let them know what has transpired. Have a heart to heart discussion with them. They may sympathize at first but they will ultimately empathize and tell you that everything will be okay.
Be careful about the friend that you choose to pour out your heart and tribulations to because not all of them want to see your shine and thy could be inwardly laughing at your love mishaps.
- Take time off to heal
After a breakup and especially one that was tumultuous, give yourself time. Use this time to rediscover yourself – your like and dislikes, new hobbies you would like to take up, a course you have been postponing, a trip that you were to take with your significant other – all that.
Healing time is different with every individual and before you feel fully ready, I would suggest that you do not jump back to the dating scene as you may get hurt further.
- Learn from your experience
No matter how nasty and difficult the breakup was, there is always something that you can learn. It could be from the relationship itself or from the healing process.
You can look back and look at things you are grateful for from the relationship. For instance, you got to advance your education thanks to your ex or he helped you expand your business. You can also learn that going forward, you will prioritize yourself because you realize how much hurt you went through from putting your partner first and neglecting your own needs.
Remember you cannot love or give from an empty cup so self-love, always.
Going forward, you will want your future relationships to have such important elements as:
- Open communication
- Being sensitive to each other’s feelings
- The ability to see things from another person’s point of view
In as much as this can be a difficult season in your life, getting over a breakup in the right way will help you be a better partner in your next relationship.
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