It can take years to adjust to the new role of a Stepparent, but with these 5 tips, you are sure to have an easier transition into your role.

1. Be fully aware that the first years of marriage are chaotic.

This is the hard truth. In the beginning, everyone is trying to understand each other, and adjust to the new change in the home. Change as you know it is very uncomfortable, and in this case, it is more uncomfortable for the children.

That said, it is perfectly normal to go through a tough transition, but once this phase is over, you will be on your way to a happy marriage and family.

It takes time.

2. Lower your expectations.

Sure, you are happy to be married and there are things you would love to see in your home, but don’t push it. Don’t try to fix your stepchildren because only their biological mother has the ability to do that.

The best thing you can do is to learn them, try to understand them and their personalities, and work on supporting them in a loving way rather than trying to ‘fix’ them.

3. Read and Understand basic Child Development.

In the event that your stepchildren are older/ younger than your biological children, it is vital that you educate yourself on Child development.

In your interactions with them, you might mistake their normal behaviors for a lack of cooperation, indiscipline, or hatred towards you.

Teenagers for example tend to be very combative, and as a new mum who does not have a teenage child, you might think that your stepchild’s behavior portrays resentment towards you.

Therefore, learn as much as possible about how children develop and you will have an easier time coping with your new family.

4. Make the discipline roles clear.

Rules make a home, and you and your partner need to establish routines that are to be followed by every member of your household.

For example, should they make their beds? Which Church should you all attend? Should they wash the dishes, any curfews? Etc.

To reduce stress for everyone, make clear what the rules are.

5. Keep your relationship with your spouse strong.

The foundation of your home is set and established by you and your partner. If your relationship is strong, the children will have peace of mind and easily adjust and accept the new family set up.

So, ensure that your bond is strong and even when you disagree, do it in private and set a good standard for your children. Remember they are always watching.

In summary, as I have always said, Step-Parenting does not come with a manual. However, get as much advice as you can from those who have made blended families work. Knowledge will empower you and make your transition much smoother.

For questions, be sure to send me an Email via:

As always, thanks for reading. See you on the next one.

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