A STEP CHILD’S PERSPECTIVE PART 1
Mother’s Day is a day that was created for Mothers, a day for a child to show their appreciation to the most important woman in their life. It is a wonderful excuse for us mums to get chocolates and flowers for all our hard work ☺– and I love it!
This reality however summons many awkward moments in blended families or in situations where the mum in question is, in fact, a step mum.
In as much as it shouldn’t present itself in this way, it would be awesome if we all stepped back for a second and looked at this situation from the perspective of the child.
Trisha Ladogna an expert on these matters explains this day by offering reassurance that being ignored on Mother’s Day is a common dilemma for many stepmoms.
All the child knows is that there is someone taking the place of their mother when ideally they should be giving this proclamation of love and affection to their biological mother.
Would you blame them? Of course not! I have, over the years learnt to put myself in my children’s shoes on this day and just accept the situation for what it is. It is awkward for everyone involved, especially the children, even in the best of blended families.
You have to put aside your own expectations and focus on building a relationship with the children first. It’s not going to be automatic that you receive handmade crafts from school when they’re young or breakfast in bed when they get older, or being mentioned on their Face book status because you are here now.
The relationship between you and your step-children needs to be nurtured in the same way you have to convince them to make new friends in a new school or a new neighbourhood. Wouldn’t you also need a little nudge to start over from scratch?
To do this requires patience, understanding and most days, learning to put the children’s needs first. As time goes buy things do fall in to place.
Never force the children to do something special for you on this day. They will step up to the plate when they are ready!!! No pressure, its only one day in 365 days!!
That said, I am proud to share with you my mother’s day experience this year. The children got me flowers, a card and breakfast in bed – can you say #Winning?
I love these kids!! I thought to myself that day as I put on my off-the shoulder flower dress in the spirit of mothers day.
Happy Mother’s Day to all, Moms, Grandmas, Stepmums, Foster moms, you are indeed valued…
Dress from ASOS | Make up by Phoina | Photography by BoyOnTheLedge